Thanks to The Secret and a whole host of other publications dedicated to the Law of Attraction we are all well versed in phrases such as “thoughts become things” and “we think what we become”. Our newsfeeds are filled with endless messages of positivity and mindset. Hey, I’m not shy of creating and posting some myself but (cue the controversy)… I really believe that we need to do so with a degree of caution and responsibility.
Don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe in and practice the Law of Attraction, but I also know that it’s not always as easy as it’s made to sound. Well not for most of us anyway.
Too often phrases such as “just think positively” and “let it go” are flippantly thrown around as if it’s a switch that we’ve carelessly forgotten to turn on. These types of phrases are what I like to call loaded but vague. Loaded with assumptions but oh so vague in context. Telling someone to think positive thoughts or to just let something go without an understanding of what that particular situation involves is not helpful and it’s not particularly compassionate either.
Yes, we need to learn to let things go that do not serve us, but the key word here is ‘learn’. If it was that easy surely we wouldn’t be holding onto it in the first place!
We’re living in an amazing time in history, where opportunity and possibility is aplenty. So many of us are currently being awoken to the true beauty of universe and its laws. We’re beginning to understand how powerful we can be but at the same time forgetting how fragile and flawed…
We’re told we can do anything and be anybody; just not a human with you know human emotions and behaviours. That’s right my love, just keep suppressing that shit because that’s nice and healthy, and it’s not going to blow up in your face at any point, oh no!
Let me just get this straight… I’m in no way saying that we shouldn’t be thinking positively. This isn’t an “I’m a realist” post. More like ‘I’m a fellow human being who understands that emotions and hurts can run deep. Sometimes even deeper than we are consciously aware of’ kinda post.
There is no doubt that our thoughts and feelings create our experiences of life. And in which case why wouldn’t we want to think and feel positively for a similar outcome?
So of course the aim is to have a positive mindset, but what about when you can’t? What about when you are trying your hardest but can’t see the light? Or perhaps you can see the light but you just can’t reach it?
Honestly, how does it make you feel? Worse, right? Like a failure? Like there’s something wrong with you? Berating yourself with accusations like “Why can’t I just think positive? Why can’t I let this thing go? What’s so bloody hard?”
Sadly, so much of the ‘positive thinking’ malarky is loaded with guilt and shame. It might not be intentional but it’s there. Commonly used phrases like “It could be worse”, “Chin up” (because tilting our heads to a certain angle will make it all disappear)… and one of my all time favourites…“Why don’t you just [insert ongoing block that other people just don’t understand, even though they have their own blocks that we probably don’t understand either].” There’s just so much judgement upon others who do not fit into our box of ‘positive thinking!
Telling someone to ‘smile’ or to ‘be happy’ doesn’t mean a damn thing. Plenty of people are hiding behind a facade of posed pictures, cute quotes and life affirming hashtags. Plenty of people are masking their pain with a smile feeling too inadequate or weak to say how they honestly feel. Why? Because heaven forbid if we were to admit that we’re not actually feeling like ‘anything is possible’ or if we can’t shake those lifelong limiting beliefs whatever they may be.
Here’s the thing, we can try our best to think as many positive thoughts as we possibly can but without doing the inner work we’ll never be able to sustain it. We need a strong foundation to build upon and that only comes from understanding the terrain that we are working on. You wouldn’t build a house on a rocky base and expect it to hold up, so why would you expect to your mind to maintain positivity if there’s ongoing stuff you haven’t dealt with? Unless you fill in the ‘cracks’ there will always be a weakness in the framework. This is about healing, patience and compassion!
Much like self-love, positive thinking is a lifelong process. Can we get better at it? Absolutely! Is it a permanent state of being? Hell to the no! None of us are immune to negative thoughts and feelings. Life isn’t always going to be easy, no matter how hard we manifest it so. And if you know anything about energy then you know that we are all connected, so even if you’ve got your cosmic shit together there’s plenty of people who haven’t. It’s something that we have to work on everyday. Some days better than others and you know what, that’s ok as long as you are doing the work.
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